Our friends are really important to Insane and I

Every now and then I get a little overwhelmed by how much I love my friends. Seriously – just thinking about them or reminiscing over times spent together [totally just got Graduation by Vitamin C stuck in my head when I wrote that – note I also had to google the lyrics to find out the name of that song… who the heck is Vitamin C?!] makes me shed tears of happiness [I have to distinguish between the types of tears I get, because I get a lot, and for very different reasons].

My friends are really important to me and my sanity – although not sure if “sanity” is the most appropriate choice of word, since I actually feel insane majority of the time… so perhaps what I should have said is, my friends are really important to me and my insanity – not that my friends make me insane, but my friends are important to Insane and I [see what I did there – because I’m insane, I’ve actually turned my insanity into an actual separate entity that also appreciates my friends… so really I should say, our friends… therefore, in summary, what I should have said is, our friends are really important to Insane and I].

I imagine Insane looking something like this if he was to take a physical form. I think he’s cute.

Anyway, without meaning to dedicate an entire paragraph to analysing my own sentence, I’ll move on.

I feel incredibly lucky to have the particular friends that I do. One of the great things about getting old, is that you really do have the choice about the people you award friendship status – not just any jerk can be our friend, because, you know, we’re a couple of pretty awesome entities, Insane and I. But in all seriousness, my friends aren’t my friends as a result of me believing I’m freakin awesome, but because they’re the awesome ones.

Anais Nin put it beautifully when she said, “… there were no words by which to possess each other… but only one ritual, a joyous, joyous impaling of woman on a man’s sensual mast.” Granted, that has nothing at all to do with friendship, I just really wanted to write out the words of one of my favourite sentences written by Anais Nin… However, she did also write something beautiful in respect to friendship:

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

How beautiful it is to imagine that each friend represents a world within us – a world not born until their arrival. My experiences would generally equate friendship with happiness, but to say that my friends help me to find happiness in life, is a huge understatement of the role my peeps actually play in my life. My friendships mean more to me than simply happiness.

This is partly from my view that happiness shouldn’t be dependent upon other people in your life – I’m not saying that we can’t obtain happiness from friendships, but I don’t think the former should depend on the latter – but it is more to do with the fact that my friendships go deeper than just bringing me happiness. My friendships have contributed to an array of emotions, at differing ends of the “emotion spectrum”, which have by that effect contributed to my memories, experiences, growth and enjoyment of life. They have contributed to me.

I treasure the feeling of happiness, but I have learnt to also treasure a full spectrum of emotions – since I’m going to get them whether I treasure them or not plus I would prefer to have the ability to feel various types of emotions than none at all. Of course, when I am feeling sad, lonely or numb, for example, I’m not necessarily always appreciating those feelings at the time, but one of the things I have learnt about myself is that I do go through periods or moments of being consumed by these feelings, so I may as well see the positives that come from that. For example, knowing and appreciating when I am feeling happy, or using those feelings of sadness, loneliness or numbness to motivate me to change something for the better in my life. But I’m digressing from my initial point that my friendships mean more to me than simply happiness.

I think this is why I particularly like the way Anais Nin writes about friends. We are our own person, and we can function perfectly ok before a friend enters our life… but upon the meeting of this person, new possibilities are presented, new experiences occur, and new memories are formed – we function not just perfectly ok, but perfectly discovered. Each friend, past or present, represents a world within us, ignited. Each friend of the future, represents a world within us, yet to be discovered.

Group hug guys.